Back to School
As parents we may be relieved our children are in school but this can be very stressful for children. Not only do they have to worry about finding their place in their mini-society, they have to make new friends, look cool, and face the bullies.
Most parents do not know it, but their child may be bullied or is a bully. Children avoid telling their parents or teachers because they are ashamed and embarrassed.
Every seven minutes a child is bullied on a school playground with no intervention happening 85% of the time. Teachers are not properly equipped to handle this social epidemic and too often administrators are not supporting the teachers.
Many parents tell me they know their child is not being bullied only to learn later that he is being picked on. These victims most of the time do not want their parents to interfere because they believe they will be retaliated against only this time worse. Children are familiar with the term ‘stitches for snitches’. Here are a few signs to look for to see if your child is a victim:
- They fear going to school or put up a fight in the mornings.
- Their possessions go missing.
- Cuts, scrapes, or bruises.
- They need to see the school nurse frequently.
- They are very hungry when they come home, maybe their lunch or lunch money has been taken.
- They avoid turning on the computer.
- Do they bring friends home?
- Are they having stomachaches or headaches?
- They become more aggressive or angry.
These are signs to watch out for but realize if your child has any of these signs does not necessarily mean he is being picked on. Maybe he is just hungry or he really lost his calculator. If you do suspect something is going on then approach the child with questions.
Are there any bullies in your class?
Have you seen anyone being picked on?
What would you do if you did see someone getting bullied?
How would you handle it if someone tried to bully you?
Follow this up with “I” statements on what you would do if they were being bullied. If you were having a problem I would talk to your teacher. I would make sure no one knew that I talked with school officials. I would work with your teacher and the principal to find solutions. I would always be there for you. It is important that your child feels your support and empathy and he does not receive a lecture on how to handle the bullies. After all we’re our child’s advocates.
Derek is a parent coach and has customized programs
for corporations, schools, and parent groups for putting the fun back into
parenting and protecting your child/student from bullying. He can be reached at Parent Smart from the Heart, 1-866-89-SMART or 847-853-4308, or info@randelconsulting.com
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